Silence

I so apologize for my silence both here and in personal email.

Emotionally and physically its like I am on a serious whitewatering rafting trip and I'm either fighting to keep my head up or trying to tame really out of control steering. I feel quite sane but time is so distorted. Its too fast or too slow. I'm torn up trying to decide what do I do I next. Do I revile in my senses or put my nose to a spiritual grindstone?  Do I pour over oncology journals or just put my faith in what is to be? And then all those big questions that seemed to come to mind when you were a kid looking at the stars and how at first they were sort of neat but then as you aged, you preferred to set them aside for things a bit easier to tangle your mind around....What have I done right, what have I done wrong....

In other words, I am fucking overwhelmed and therefore will remain quiet until I can make some temporary repairs. (could be an hour...could be days) If I haven't responded to your email...I'm not angry or upset. I havent responded to anyone lately.

Comments

[Loretta]

Jenifer, I don't think anyone expects a response from you. Most of us are just writing to remind you that you are in our thoughts, our prayers, and our hearts, and always will be. I wish I could come over with a casserole, a bottle of wine, and some fun art books. I'll have to settle for a cyber hug.

[enchy]

there is no reason to respond - just know that we are here and quietly thinking of you - lighting a candle for you or saying a silent prayer.

xx

[Kristin]

Good thing there are no rules. I am thinking of you...