Breathlessly Simple

Lists of Five

Five Things I Can Do Now That I Couldn't Do Five Years Ago

1. Drive on highways.
2. Do business on the phone.
3. Interact socially.
4. Love an animal unconditionally.
5. Keep my mouth shut if the occasion warrants it.

Five Things I Can Do

1. Speak in front of a crowd.
2. Emerge as a leader in a group.
3. Share ANYTHING with Devon and not freak out.
4. Feel empathy.
5. Remember anything I learn including trivial things, names, etc. (numbers are excluded)

Five Thing That Attract Me to Another

1. Long hair
2. An aesthetic sensibility.
3. Sense of humor.
4. Being industrious in our exchanges.
5. Honesty.

Five Things I Can't Do

1. Be around people for any extended period of time.
2. Tolerate much noise.
3. Tolerate racism, sexism, or nationalism.
4. Have a love relationship that lasts longer than 5 years.
5. Let go of things when I should.

Five Favorite Books

1. House of Incest - Anais Nin
2. I Capture the Castle - Dodie Smith
3. any of Albert Camus' essays
4. Velvet Monkeywrench - John Muir
5. Paris Peasant - Louis Aragon

Five Things to Do Before I Die

1. Keep showing Devon as much love as I can.
2. Go back to Paris.
3. Paint a canvas or two.
4. See more great art in person.
5. Accept my life, such as it is/was.

(painting in the Met/Charles DeMuth)

I got this for 32 bucks, normally 129! Now if I just had some landscaping to go with it...

I went to the respiratory doctor today. It was good but I dont feel much like talking about it, especially considering my next 2 months of days off are given over to making dr's round. Perhaps some other time. They were working with a new computer system so it was painfully slow but everyone was really nice. A much better experience than the last dr. I saw there. I'm glad I stood up for my patient's rights.

In another bold mood, I called the hospital system that ran the rehab that I was in, both 8 and 5 years ago. I brought up how I had been paying my 30 dollars a month faithfully but things were just getting too hard financially. I think they should just be happy they cured me. (just kidding) Anyhow, I asked them if they would cut me a break and let me go on the rest of what I owe. Hey, all they can say is no. Right now, the request is sitting on a supervisor's desk somewhere.

God, I feel so boring. I suppose I could do the 5 things meme...nay, maybe in awhile.

Even though I shouldn't have, I got an 8 week subscription to the NYT Mon-Fri. I see it this way... It usually lasts longer than a movie, I always learn something I didnt know, and I won't keep running out of newspaper for lining the floor around the litter boxes. (My 14 year old Persian only uses paper. She doesn't believe in sharing toilets with commoners.)

Watched "Bones" last night and hated it. Watched Marty last night and loved it.

Selling on ebay has been going fantastically well. However, between fees, postage, and the work involved, I dont think I'd wanna make it a regular thing.

I saw gas today at Enmark and the station just further down Merrimon for 2.87. Citgo was still sitting at 2.99  My low fuel light has been getting a work out.

Back in a little while with the oh so thrilling 5 things meme.

NOTE: Kristen....I'm thinking about you and your family. I hope the wolf doesn't blow your little house down!

Friday Random 10 on a Saturday

Select all your MP3's, every one, and load them into your mp3 player. Set the player to random and let it go. List the first ten songs that play and put them into a list. If you’re feeling some writer’s block, feel free to annotate your list.

1. Where Did You Sleep Last Night - Nirvana
2. West Country Girl - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
3. The Stranger Song - Leonard Cohen
4. Track 7, Grey Album - Jay Z
5. Live Forever (acoustic) - Oasis
6. Sugar Water - Cibo Matto
7. Mississippi Goddamn - Nina Simone
8. Sunset at the Cafe del Mar - Tabula Rasa
9. Under the Falling Sky - Jackson Brown
10. Goodbye Lorraine - Frank Black

I am so furious right now with poor Southern conservative bible-thumpers that I could scream. Knowing that I am so agitated and that my burst of Prednisone will only fuel a verbal fire, I chose instead to show how my head feels at this time!

Wiktor Sadowski

Just a Little Town In Indonesia

Alex Chilton is alive and accounted for! Yeah!

For Devon

I Will Make You Brooches and....  (Robert Lewis Stevenson)

I will make you brooches and toys for your delight
Of bird-song at morning and star-shine at night.
I will make a palace fit for you and me
Of green days in forests and blue days at sea.

I will make my kitchen, and you shall keep your room,
Where white flows the river and bright blows the bloom,
And you shall wash your linen and keep your body white
In rainfall at morning and dewfall at night.

And this shall be for music when no one else is near,
The fine song for singing, the rare song to hear!
That only I remember, that only you admire,
Of the broad road that stretches and the roadside fire.















photo by Francesca Woodman

Just Thoughts

I think that I am getting sick again. I have my rescue inhaler but I haven't had a plastic applicator so I havent been using it. I had been doing fine with the Spiriva and the Advair. (I had to quit Singular and Allegra due to cash shortages) So, I prepped the oxygen concentrator tonight and decided that if I tried a mask instead of a cannula, I might actually use it. I go to get a mask under the bathroom sink and voila there is a plastic applicator. So I did the Albuterol and feel much better. And yes I am still smoking and am such an addict that I have christened my new couch with 2 burn holes. (talk about hating yourself)  Anyhow, I'm worried that if I end up in the hospital again that my daughter won't have the money to get here. For the longest time, my 2nd ex and I maintained a bank account together so we shared a credit/debit card that he could give to Devon, but the fees were too high on it. Then, my key holding neighbor decided to travel. So if I get sick, no one has my money info for Devon or keys to my house or anything.... If Devon wasn't quite so absent minded, I'd give her the info and send her keys but..... Not sure what to do.

In 1973, I visited the outer banks of North Carolina. It was the only time, until I moved here in Dec. of 2003, that I had ever been in this state. The few natives I met, did not impress me in the least. I found them ignorant, racist, and intolerant. I vowed never to come back to this state. Generally Asheville is almost a place unto itself outside the realm of any boundries. Unfortunately though, I work at Home Depot, which places me right in the center of the true natives. The complete and utter ignorance and misinformation is rampant, with the most offensive comment today being... "The people that stayed behind in NO chose to, so they could loot." WTF!!!! I can't even be bothered to argue with crap like that coming out of someone's mouth. In all fairness, I did hear intelligent comments from a black head cashier and an assistant manager. M, a woman that I work with closely, was at least willing to have a fair discussion.

I wish my first husband was around. I need the toilet, the kitchen faucet, the deck, and the concrete stairs all worked on.....Ho hum....

More Money for Gas

I've added Artitudes to ebay and will be listing Studios tomorrow or the next day.

This whole hurricane thing is making me sick. I have a stomach ache, headache, etc. I can watch no more.

Shame

Anderson Cooper on CNN just told Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu that this was not the time to be thanking other politicos. YES!  Again and again, I am shamed by our government and not even in a partisan way. When I see baby Bush pulling Daddy and Clinton out of his pocket, I just want to puke! Fuck um all. I think its about time we forget about working within any party system and depose the whole of fucking Washington. I am sick with shame and anger and grief and this latest debacle is just the final rinse of a bunch of putrid laundry.

Overthrow is what is needed.