Hmmm, on the evening of the 22nd, West Asheville flooded. On the evening of the 25th, Asheville had an earthquake. I must say that when it comes to natural phenomena, this place surpasses anywhere that I've ever lived, in dealing out surprises. It rains like crazy but still some plants just dry right up, while others grow a couple inches a day. One can be eaten alive by mosquitoes at 9 pm on one side of town while maybe just 3 miles away, you wont see one. We are never as hot as the rest of the South or even most of the midwest, yet that really doesn't translate in the winter, when I remember wearing sandals and no sweater on the last two New Year's Days and sharing a holiday coffee with someone at an outdoor table at the local Port City Java. I guess the natural world here just follows the local population....Diverse. I have lived all around the country and Asheville is the most diverse, yet tolerant place that I have ever been.
So yes, I survived the great earthquake of 05 or the "hurriquake" as some locals have been want to say. I was at my computer, in my bedroom, with the window open....the cicadias and tree frogs were doing their thing and I was thinking they were pretty damn noisy. Right when I was thinking this, they all just STOPPED. There was dead silence, which immediately slammed me into an alternative reality and set me to checking my pulse to make sure I was still where I should be. Then BOOM! I had no sense of the wave that I got in California earthquakes. There was no prequel. This was like an armored tank had crashed into one side of my little wooden mill house. I just stayed where I was, waiting for the radiation dust to start sprinkling through the air... After about 10 minutes, the insects resumed their nightime aria and I felt assured that all was right. Amazingly, my cats showed no reaction to any of this.
I buy my gas only at Citgo now. Why? Well you know that Socialist commie that Robertson thinks we should execute? He and his country are the exclusive Citgo pipeline. Its my one small protest against the travesty occuring in the Middle East. Yep, I guess the US is becoming an imperialist nation. Dont we have every right to slaughter a duly elected president of another nation whose at-home popularity rating is 70 percent? We must be shaking in our shoes at the thought of a massive invasion by the Venuzuelian army.... And being a good Christian nation under God, we know that the ten commandments only apply to ourselves.
Anyone that can turn a Brittany song (Baby One More Time) into something fine, has my undying love! He does a great cover of Nirvana's "Lithium".
